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  • Wednesday, October 29, 2003

     

    Syrup of Ipe-lileks

    We read it and twenty minutes later we twow up...

    We have discovered the charms of the Hokey Pokey. Gnat likes to stand on her bed, sing along, and thrust out the various appendages as the song commands. I am still unclear as to which portion of this dance constitutes the Hokey Pokey.

    Put your right foot in. This is done by putting your right foot out. It’s “in” only inasmuch as you are imagining some space before you, the occupation of which comprises a necessarily element of this ritual.

    You put your right foot out. This is done by withdrawing your foot - e.g., pulling it in.

    You put your right foot in and you shake it all about. Noted.

    You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. Now, hold on, mister. Is the turning one’s self around the Hokey Pokey? No. The turning around is clearly separate, otherwise we’d sing You do the Hokey Pokey by turning yourself around or You do the Hokey Pokey which, to be specific, consists of rotating your body either clockwise or counterclockwise or something like that. But no. The actual mechanics of the Hokey Pokey (or, as we call it here, the Unconvincingly Amateurish Lancing) are never described. Worse yet, that’s what it’s all about.

    Every parent has wondered these things. Every damn one. That’s what makes us different from children. We agonize over the meanings of this doggerel. Kids just do the frickin’ Hokey Pokey.


    We anxiously await more heartwarming stories about Jim's other not-quite-as-cute kids: Tick and Chigger.....


     

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